mdt class, year of two thousand... something.

Swim evaluation today. Basically, if you've talked to me about the MDT program, chances are good I've mentioned this swim eval, and all that it entails. For those who haven't heard me rattle off the feats of physical endurance required to pass, here it is (in order of appearance this morning):

Swim 75 feet underwater without fins, without surfacing.
Swim 150 feet underwater without fins, surfacing only 3 times.
Skin dive to a depth of 10 feet to recover a 10-lb weight.
Rescue a swimmer at the surface, and tow 75 feet.
Swim 150 feet using a snorkel and fins.
Swim 1000 feet, using any stroke, in under 10 minutes.
Tread water for 10 minutes without swim aids (3 minutes wrists out, 2 minutes elbows out of the water.)

Despite having practiced to the best of my ability in the past 2 months, I was not able to accomplish all the necessary tasks today.

I haven't always been a water person. In fact, I wouldn't even have begun to categorize myself as such until the past year, maybe two. Maybe my big bro pretended too many times to be the shark from Jaws at the cabin, or maybe it was the time I knocked a tooth out in the pool when I was 8; whatever the reason, I always felt more comfortable topside, beachside than in the water. For instance: I couldn't properly dive into the water head first until I was 24. Up until last week, I'd find any way around swimming underwater without nose or eyes in some way covered or protected. I was the kid at the pool who always swiped at my eyes when I surfaced. I was the open water diver who freaked out, wide-eyed, the first several times going under.

Much of the fear was forced out during my divemaster training, by necessity. Before one can act as underwater tour guide to other divers with their fears and phobias, one must properly dispense with one's own. So, I learned to swim underwater, and I learned to take my mask off underwater. Day after day, month after month in the ocean, I began to feel pretty comfortable. Not completely in my realm, but at ease.

I've never been a swimmer though.

In the past few months, I've really been trying to get the swim eval tasks down, trying to become a better swimmer, trying to conquer the crazy voices usually only audible below the water's surface. It's been a challenge, because the voices are at least in their 20's, the desire to eradicate them is newer, no more than a child. On Monday I learned that none of these tasks could be performed wearing a mask, and that was worrying. I could hear the voices then, above water, inciting fear and overwhelming self-doubt. I went to a pool yesterday to practice. Still, I couldn't finish. I left the pool, hoping adreneline would compensate for what I lacked in concrete experience.

There were 2 tasks I couldn't complete: the 150-foot breath hold, and the 1000-foot 10-minute swim. I came close though, within 1 breath of the 150, and 15 seconds of the 1000. So not as bad as I'd feared. I tried the 1000 again, but after a few laps realized it would be futile. Maybe if I'd only had one task to re-do, the outcome might have been different. But, as it stands, all my MDT courses this semester will be non-diving.

A bit frustrated at first, but now, I actually feel a bit relieved. I know I did the best I could do, and one can't ever be upset about that! The non-diving classes are still really interesting, and my course load will be somewhat lightened. Plus, I have the option of taking a PE class called "swimming for conditioning," so that when the next swim eval rolls around in January, I'll nail them all.

And maybe silence a few of those voices in the process.