15 minutes of farewell.

I'm pretty damn happy to be leaving my full-time job. I can't say what it is, but something has always felt very wrong about the place. I felt it from the very start: for example, I started crying upon being offered a full-time position there, as if anticipating the uncomfortable year to come. I've held 2 different positions there, and have been supervised by 6 different individuals in my 16 months of employment. My current supervisor hasn't been a great fit, but was better in some ways than my previous supervisor. Regardless, we have our differences.

Tomorrow is my last day, and today the perfunctory farewell gathering was held in my honor. To celebrate, my supervisor sent out an invite to staff a full 23 hours in advance. Who can bother with planning in advance for these things? The invite requested staff to adjourn from 4:15 - 4:30 to wish me well. Good christ, a whole 15 minutes in honor of my departure? The snack item for the gathering was ice cream sandwiches, which I don't eat due uncomfortable reactions to certain foods. There was a card, but no gift. I believe that I am personally the first person I've ever seen leave the museum without some manner of gift. Everyone gets a gift, for fuck's sake, but I suppose it slips one's mind when one is planning a gathering the day before it's to take place.

My intention is not to sound petty, nor to feel petty about it all. It's not that I needed to walk away with the gift, it's not the material item that's important, but the sentiment. I had hoped I could leave the job on a good note, that I would be able to walk away with a few good memories of the organization in my pocket, the sense I'd been valued, my work remotely important, my effort validated. I had been willing to overlook so much, if only there could be that one thing to prove it had all been worth something. The going away gift was that thing that would have made up for all the unreasonable requests, for all the stress and thanklessness. I can recognize now it's not going to happen, there won't be good memories of the organization. I only want to forget it ever happened.

What I won't forget are the amazing people there, because the place has more than its share of phenomenal individuals. I also won't forget the lesson, the one that lives inside all very, very bad experiences.

No more bullshit jobs for this girl.