mafiosa.

So, where's the line between being convincing, and being manipulative?  Between assertive and competitive?  Working in this industry sometimes taxes my brain in ways I can't begin to understand.  It's worse at times like these, when I'm working in the yard, and closer to the office, and closer to the politics.

I went in to talk about my current situation with the Offshore Personnel Manager today.  I needed to talk to someone, because I think I'm spending more time in the hotel than I am at home.  Or maybe in equal measure.  In any case, I have no balance right now, and my objective is to give OII a good chance to make it right before making any decisions.  I can't say I don't already have one foot out the door, but I also don't want to have to make a run for it, as that always seems to incur debt, by virtue of being an act of singular desperation.  I would love to make a smooth, easy transition.  Have I done that before?  Can I even imagine what it's like?  I'm really not sure, but I'll envision it until it feels so real I can totally imagine it.

Being in the office is always confusing though, because there are so many different stories to be heard.  I never know if I'm coming or going, or who to believe.  There's so much double-speak going on, and me, being far too honest, I never know how to interpret what's being said.