earth rat.

Happy Holidays to all, and Happy New Year too ;)

tree = christmas spirit.

I love coming back to MN for the holidays because it actually feels like Christmas here, unlike the surreality of the holiday season in CA, or tropical areas. It's usually pretty cold and blustery and this year, finally, there was a decent amount of snow on the ground and regularly falling throughout the days.

christmas snow.

I'm back to SB in a few days. I finished classes 13 December, and graduated on the 14th. I'm feeling a bit of anxiety at having finished and now being on the threshold of the next big thing. Excited to be free, but also uncertain, scared and a bit overwhelmed. But I shall leave those feelings for another entry.

I'm off to relaxedly celebrate the coming of a new year with good company (dad & kathe), a good movie (there's something about Mary), and a few good beverages (Tom & Jerrys, yum!).

Happy 2008 to all ;)

the most wonderful time of the year.

I'm exhausted. I've also had just about enough of myself complaining (even though it still feels sort of necessary, in that way that habits have of working their way back to you, babe.). I find myself happily, blissfully near the end of my training at MDT, but am also feeling that familiar twinge of nervosity at the prosepect of what might be next, and the bittersweetness of leaving my stinky boys.

I have only one more day of class. Tomorrow is the marathon bell/sat run. Yesterday was inspection (A for final grade), today was seamanship in the afternoon (B for a final grade), burning in the morning (final grade as yet undetermined), and my LAST DIVE at the marine tech program!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's a picture of me on standby, waiting to enter the water for my final dive off the stinky, nasty, dirty, foul Stearns Wharf:

12 December 2007

destination.

Have you ever had one of those times in your life where you think of something you think might be a good thing to do, or have happen, and all of a sudden you're on track for that something to happen, without even being sure you want to do that thing, or have that thing happen, but suddenly the way is opening up before you? Do you have any idea what I'm rambling about? Actually, I'm not even sure of what I'm saying today.

About a month ago (maybe longer), I started toying with the idea of going to work for one of the diving companies in the Gulf of Mexico, after having sworn off becoming a diver for the preceeding 10 months I've been in dive school. And suddenly, all around me, everywhere I look, all I can see is evidence backing up that notion. And I'm still not totally sure I want to do it.

I'll outline a few things I've been thinking about:

1. One of the companies does contractual work for NASA in the Neutral Buoyancy Lab, which is a simulated underwater space station, in Houston. For some reason, this has always sounded really interesting to me. I've been thinking tons about working with underwater equipment topside, like sonar and ROVs, but diving is the most basic component of the industry, which leads me to question...

2. My motivation for going/not going to work in the Gulf. I was having a conversation with one of my partners in crime (ie classmate), Andy, who raised this question. I think I was planning not to go because it's scary and not really the sort of conditions I really want to submit to, but then I wonder, when has that stopped me before? I've done TONS of things I've not totally liked, or hated even, but without which I wouldn't be the shiny, happy, sunshine-and rose-petals-out-me-arsehole type of lady I've ended up to be. So why should this be any different? I mean, this is what I've been training to do, and if I didn't at least go try it out, and then walk away having consciously made the decision not to do it, I really wouldn't respect myself much in the morning, now would I? I have a morbid curiosity to see how bad it really is. And there's money in the deal, which is reason enough for...

3. Leaving Santa Barbara. I've griped about it for the past 1.5 years: SB is goddamn expensive, and it is harder than hell to live in an expensive city, and go to school, and work a shit-ton of jobs, and maintain one's sanity (clearly I've not accomplished this last throughout my stay here). There's also not much by way of industry here, save tourism, which means that one's income potential varies by year, by season, by week. I also learned today that someone is taking over my spot as Divemaster on the boat beginning in January, which means I'll be down to working at the restaurant, which means I can really leave as soon as I get my belongings packed and stored.

So, crapsticks. The decision is sort of made, has sort of just become made. I mean, I still have to see who's hiring, and get a job. In the end, technicalities really. The decision's the main thing, no?